"A year ago today I was waking up in a Mexican hospital, screaming for help, and had the worst chest pain ever. As the next 48 hours progressed and I was dismissed from the hospital I began to wonder what I had gotten myself into. I spent a night in a San Diego hotel and when woke up the next day I was thankful to be alive, ready to get on my flight home, and more than ready to kiss my baby. The last year hasn't been easy, it wasn't magic, and there were SO many tears cried.
I found a quote a few weeks ago that said, one day your workout will become your warmup. It really inspired me as over the last few weeks the intensity of my workouts has really increased and I've really been pushing my body. A year ago at this time I wasn't even going to the gym, I was stressed with the ending of a relationship, preparing for this trip to Mexico, and wondering how I was to afford the life I so badly wanted in Colorado. At this time last year, I was working night shift and planning my diet for the first month after my surgery, planning my 25th birthday outfit because I KNEW I would be at 165 by then (hah). Over the last year I've realized I had/have a toxic relationship with food. I've learned that when I eat sugar, I want to eat more sugar, it makes me emotional and basically a psycho.
I've learned that it really was possible for my workout to become my warm up, and that there is much more satisfaction in burning/sore muscles than there is in frosting covered pumpkin shaped sugar cookies. I've realized that realistically I will NEVER weigh 165 lbs (I haven't been that weight since probably 3rd grade). I've learned that I'd rather be able to go run a mile or 5 than be at a certain number on the scale. I've learned that this journey won't ever be over, that this is something that I'm going to have to work on for the rest of my life. I've learned that not every day is perfect and that somedays you'll eat that cookie, and not go to the gym, and that you'll want snacks all day, but I've also learned that tomorrow is a new day.
In the last year I've gone from Size 26 to a size 16 (which by the way is official plus size model size (sign me up). Size 5x scrubs to size L (depending on style). I've lost fat, friends, inches, love, but I've gained so much more. I've gained knowledge, healthy friendships, a better relationship with food, techniques that will make this a lifestyle, but most importantly gained myself. I gained the girl who I so desperately fought to be. The girl who can say NO, the one who can fight for what she believes in, and most importantly the one who knows what she NEEDS the most in this life. Here's to the girl whose wardrobe became workout clothes, the one who ate a significantly less amount of cookies in the last 365 days, the one who is still pushing, and the one who isn't going to stop.
UPDATE: I am now training for a triathlon that is In January. Weight is just a number and this journey has become about so much more than appearing thin. I can't thank you guys enough for my life back."
Surgeons Dr. Jose Rodriguez and Elmo Aramburo
Surgery Gastric Sleeve